And so a new Author for The Box Lounge was born. Behold, PalinDrome.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Box's Top 10 Nostalgic Boy's Toys
I'm a toy collector, as you know. Toys were an important part of all our childhoods; for some of us, they're still important. And so today, I'm going to count down my Top 10 Nostalgic Boy's Toys. Now, when I say boy's toys, I just mean toys that were mostly marketed towards boys. I'm not saying girls can't/shouldn't play with them; hell, if I met a girl who shared my apprection for army men I'd probably marry her. Anyway, let's dive into the toy chest and take a look.
10. TY Beanie Babies
This one might be cheating a bit; afterall, Beanie Babies aren't very manly, are they? Well, I'm putting them here anyway. Beanie Babies were awesome. They were cute, cuddly, soft and me and my friends had hours of fun playing with them. Hell, I still have a lot of mine. In a box in the cupboard, but the point remains. Just to drive the point home, I actually had the small version of the spider for a while, and it didn't scare me.
9. Hot Wheels
Every boy had Hot Wheels. EVERYONE. If not Hot Wheels, they had Matchbox or Corgi or some cheap dollar store brand. Actually, I shouldn't limit this to just Hot Wheels. Dinkies (this might be a dialect thing; diecast toy cars) were common toys; we all had them, so we could all play together. I can remember us brining our dinkies to school and slamming them into the wall under the blackboard at recess. Good times for us, if not the cars.
8. McDonald's Happy Meals
McDonald's food is tasty, there's no point denying it. It tastes good. It's f*cking gross, and it's probably made from the scraps of a hot dog factory, but that's beside the point. Kids love going to McDonald's. and back in out day it was no different. And the best part about going to McDonald's was the toys. They had some cool stuff- the Monsters, Inc. figures they made were astonishingly good quality for what they were, with high detail, quality plastic, decent poseability all things considered and they came with DOORS for accessories. The had other great stuff- the original Tohunga sets for Bionicle, which I hope to acquire someday, and Teenie Beanie Babies, and lots more. The food wasn't good for us, but every so often, the toys were. Whatever that means.
7. Action Man
Action Man was the guy Ken wanted to be. The Ultimate Soldiers wanted to have a drink with him, but he was too busy being awesome. Max Steel tryed to fight him over a date with Barbie and he's STILL not out of the hospital. Action Man eats the Ultra Corps foe breakfast. G.I. Joe... actually, I think Action man and G.I. Joe are friends. Action Man was cool. He let kids act out good vs. evil without shilling the army like G.I. Joe did. Now, two things; I have no problem with the army, I have a lot of respect for them, but it's not for everyone. Sometimes it's more fun to play as a freelance hero or a maverick. Seccond, I know Action Man has been in the army, but when I got mine, he was more like a crime fighting extreme sports star. He had a tv show too, but I never watched it. Although, the theme song was awesome. AMP IT UP
10. TY Beanie Babies
This one might be cheating a bit; afterall, Beanie Babies aren't very manly, are they? Well, I'm putting them here anyway. Beanie Babies were awesome. They were cute, cuddly, soft and me and my friends had hours of fun playing with them. Hell, I still have a lot of mine. In a box in the cupboard, but the point remains. Just to drive the point home, I actually had the small version of the spider for a while, and it didn't scare me.
9. Hot Wheels
Every boy had Hot Wheels. EVERYONE. If not Hot Wheels, they had Matchbox or Corgi or some cheap dollar store brand. Actually, I shouldn't limit this to just Hot Wheels. Dinkies (this might be a dialect thing; diecast toy cars) were common toys; we all had them, so we could all play together. I can remember us brining our dinkies to school and slamming them into the wall under the blackboard at recess. Good times for us, if not the cars.
8. McDonald's Happy Meals
McDonald's food is tasty, there's no point denying it. It tastes good. It's f*cking gross, and it's probably made from the scraps of a hot dog factory, but that's beside the point. Kids love going to McDonald's. and back in out day it was no different. And the best part about going to McDonald's was the toys. They had some cool stuff- the Monsters, Inc. figures they made were astonishingly good quality for what they were, with high detail, quality plastic, decent poseability all things considered and they came with DOORS for accessories. The had other great stuff- the original Tohunga sets for Bionicle, which I hope to acquire someday, and Teenie Beanie Babies, and lots more. The food wasn't good for us, but every so often, the toys were. Whatever that means.
7. Action Man
Action Man was the guy Ken wanted to be. The Ultimate Soldiers wanted to have a drink with him, but he was too busy being awesome. Max Steel tryed to fight him over a date with Barbie and he's STILL not out of the hospital. Action Man eats the Ultra Corps foe breakfast. G.I. Joe... actually, I think Action man and G.I. Joe are friends. Action Man was cool. He let kids act out good vs. evil without shilling the army like G.I. Joe did. Now, two things; I have no problem with the army, I have a lot of respect for them, but it's not for everyone. Sometimes it's more fun to play as a freelance hero or a maverick. Seccond, I know Action Man has been in the army, but when I got mine, he was more like a crime fighting extreme sports star. He had a tv show too, but I never watched it. Although, the theme song was awesome. AMP IT UP
As you may have guessed from Derek Fro's recent articles, we here at the Box Lounge are pretty big Pokemon fans, and we have out Pokemon cards to show it. Of course, most of these decks and collections got their starts years ago, when Pokemon was relatively new to North America. Thus, our binders are full of the bounty of trading back in the day- old standbys like Charmander, Pikachu, Diglett, and Goldeen. I don't know why we collected them as kids- I at least wasn't really the collecting type, and we never played the game until this year when we got back into it. I guess it was just youthful materialism and an admiration for the art. We've made up for our lost time, however- we once played for over three hours. Never again.
5. Dinosaurs
This one's simple enough. Kids love dinosaurs, especially boys. I love dinosaurs. Toy dinosaurs are interesting in that relatively decent ones can often be found in dollar stores, sold bagged or individually. It's cheap to get a bunch of them and set up your own Jurassic Park in the sandbox or back yard. If "decent" isn't enough, there's more expensive toys from lines like Jurassic Park and Dino-Riders, or high quality replicas from the Carnegie collection, or from makers like Schleich, Papo, and Safari Ltd (which, as I recall, makes the Carnegie Collection). Basically, dinosaurs are fun, more dinosaurs are more fun, and it's easy to get more.
Toy Story is probably one of the best animated movies ever made; the same goes for the sequels (or at least the Toy Story 3. Second one wasn't quite there, but still excellent). Toy Story toys are amazingly fun to play with- how many toys encourage you to pretend that they're just toys? So many possibilities. And of course, due to Pixar's masterful storytelling, you get attached to these characters. These dolls and action figures seemed real, so what happened when you got your own Woody, Jessie, Buzz, whatever? You got MORE attached. You caught yourself worrying about their feelings, or felt bad about putting them in storage. That, or you had a great time breaking them. Who am I to judge?
Ah, Star Wars. Where would geek culture be without you? And where would our childhoods have been without your stuff. Star Wars figures were great. I was just reaching the age for action figures when the prequels came out. I had a blast playing with my Phantom Menace figures, and nothing you can say will ruin my nostaliga-blinded love for that movie. Of course, as I got older I collected more figures, and started mixing them with other lines, like G.I. Joe, Marvel Universe, DC Infinite Heroes, and others. I guess I could've just called this 3 3/4 action figures, but for me, Star Wars figures were the first and most nostalgic.
Here's another case where I'm being more specific than is strictly necessary. I could have just said Lego, but in a way, a lot of Lego isn't nostalgic- I'm STILL buying it every now and then. But Lego Adventurers was not only one of the coolest Lego themes ever, and my personal favorite, it's discontinued and thus, more nostalgic. Lego Adventurers was set sometime between the 20s and 40s. It followed the adventures of Austrailian treasure-hunter Johnny Thunder and his friends, reporter Gail Storm (later Pippin Reed) and archaeologist Dr. Lightning (later Dr. Kilroy) as they searched the world for treasures and battled the neferious totally-not-a-Nazi Baron von Baron (later Lord Sam Sinister) and whatever help he had scrounged up this time. It ran for four subthemes from 1998 to 2003, and a few years later we got the Indiana Jones sets- Adventurers was replaced by the very films that inspired it. Still, the Indy sets were pretty cool and we recently got a spiritual successor to Adventurers, Pharoah's Quest, which even continues Adventurers' weather-themed naming system. Still, the original Adventurers will always reign supreme in Legoland's Interbellum.
1. Army Men
Christ, where do I even start? Army Men are cheap, every kid had at least a few, you could play with them anywhere, you could combine them with your Toy Story merch... But oddly enough, I think it's the first one that gives army men a lot of their appeal. They're cheap, so you can get a crapload of them easily enough; it doesn't matter if you break a few, so you can play rough; you can lose a few; you can paint or otherwise modify them. As I said, you can play with army men anywhere. Sidewalks, driveways, back yards, kitchen counters, floors, gardens, sadboxes, beaches, puddles, Christmas villages, anything, unless your school doesn't let you bring them. And of course, the Army Men sequence from Toy Story was a memorable part of the film, and I'm sure that a lot of kids wanted army men after seeing it. I actually have the recently released Toy Story Collection Bucket O Soldiers, and they're beautifully sculpted, high-quality figures made from good plastic in a vibrant shade of green... and I've barely played with them. True, I'm older now that I was when I was really into army men, but even when I do play with them, I find myself trying to be gentle. I've never taken the outside- they're too nice and too expensive to risk. I've had a lot more fun with my cheap dollar store-Zellers-Bargain Shop armies over the years. I do, however, wish that more army men were actually molded in green- most are this horrible dark olive green colour or another green that's much too dark compared to the way army men are usually portrayed.
So that's my Top 10 Nostalgic Boy's Toys. I hope that you enjoyed it, and if anyone actually read this blog, I'd love to hear about your own nostalgic toys in the comments.
Also I'm not trying to rip off the Nostalgia Critic. He just doesn't have a monopoly on nostalgia.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
On Second Thought - Pokemon The Movie 2000: The Power Of One
By Derek Fro
On today's "On Second Thought" I'll be looking at the sequel to yesterday's pick, Pokemon The Movie 2000: The Power Of One, obviously released in 2000. Yes, if you haven't figured out by now, I'm going to be looking at all of these movies in order. (Well, the first eight anyways). Now, I will mention that I absolutely love this movie, and I had been waiting to see it again for years and years, so I'll try not to look through nostalgia goggles when I review it.
The movie begins with our antagonist, Lawrence III reading out the ancient Shamouti Prophecy. This legend details how the three titans of Fire, Ice, and Lightning must be kept in perfect harmony, or else the beast of the sea will be awakened, and the world will turn to Ash. (Note that in the original Japanese script, they don't say Ash, just an "exceptional trainer". Thanks for removing all subtlety, 4Kids). Anyways, a computer tells Lawrence the true identities of the titans mentioned in the Shamouti Prophecy, being the three legendary birds- Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres. Lawrence walks over to the computer (Which is mounted in front of his chair) and sits down. The chair raises up on a pillar and into a domed ceiling featuring classical art, and travels through a cylindrical shaft before arriving at the top of a tower.
The shot then zooms out and reveals to us that Lawrence is in fact piloting a huge circular airship, known as the Hikōkyū (Literally "Flying Palace"), which looks pretty damn badass if I do say so myself. It shows us that the airship is nearing Fire Island, where Moltres resides, as Lawrence begins shooting ice bullets out of the lower cannons on the ship, freezing the land on the island and causing Moltres to emerge and fight him. He weakens the legendary Pokemon by shooting it (I have to say, it's pretty awesome to see them taking risks by doing something violent in Pokemon) eventually, Moltres tires, and Lawrence releases some kind of electrified circles of metal- These shock Moltres and capture it in some sort of electrical cage, then return it to the airship. Lawrence comments on how easy it was to catch the first titan, and moves towards Lightning Island.
The film then takes us to Ash, Misty, and Tracey, who are enjoying themselves on a cruise to the Orange Islands in order to give Professor Oak the GS Ball (They don't outright state this, but I'm trusting Bulbapedia when they say that this was the reason Ash went to the islands in the first place(Note: He never actually gives Oak the GS Ball in the movie, nor is it ever mentioned or seen)). Ash decides to let his Pokemon out so they can enjoy the weather, and the others follow suit. We see that Team Rocket is following the trio as usual, this time in their Magikarp Submarine. Soon enough both groups get caught up in a tropical storm of some kind and wind up in the middle of the Orange Islands, on Shamouti Island.
We flash back to Pallet Town, as Professor Oak bikes down a road toward Ash's house, while Delia and Mr. Mime are doing some gardening. They begin to talk, but soon the weather begins to go out of whack, as it starts snowing in what I assume is either spring or summer, accompanied by an Aurora Borealis. Delia wonders why it's beginning to snow, as Oak's bike is carried off by a pack of migrating Diglett, and he tries to figure it out as well.
We now cut back to Shamouti Island, where Ash and crew meet with the local villagers, who are celebrating in some sort of festival in which they find the trainer who will fulfill the Shamouti Prophecy. They somehow come to the conclusion that this is Ash in like 5 seconds and invite him to some sort of theater so they can explain to him what he needs to do. This years new Festival Maiden, Melody, explains to Ash that he needs to travel to Fire, Ice, and Lightning Island and gather three elemental orbs, then return them to Shamouti Island, where Melody will play a special song and end the festival. Without thinking about it at all, Ash sets out to complete his duties right away, with the captain Maren and Pikachu following close behind.
Eventually, the three arrive on Fire Island, and Pikachu guides Ash to the location of the Fire Orb. We see that Tracey and Misty got a ride to the island with Melody on her boat, unexpectedly carrying Team Rocket as stowaways. The group catches up with Ash just in time to see that Zapdos has arrived on Fire Island. Pikachu and Zapdos somehow talk by shocking each other, and even more amazingly, Meowth is able to translate it. He mentions that Zapdos is saying that he wishes to claim the island as his own, since Moltres has disappeared. Soon after, we see the Hikōkyū descend from the clouds, and absorb Zapdos' electricity using lighting rods mounted on the bottom dome. This tires Zapdos out, and sure enough, electrical diamonds come out and capture Zapdos, mistakenly capturing both Melody's boat and all of the people on the island as well.
On board the airship, we see that Moltres and Zapdos are being held in their respective electric cages, and being put on display as if they were trophies. Ash and the crew are being held captive in a cage dangling above the ground. Lawrence then descends on his chair into the main room, and politely frees the captured trainers, while explaining to an upset Ash that he isn't a Pokemon trainer, rather, a self-suited "collector". He then returns to his command tower and lets the trainers roam freely on his ship.
This proves to be a mistake, as Ash and crew notice the tablet that contains the Shamouti Prophecy and read it. Ash, being the polite guy he is, lashes out (Rather than simply trying to tell Lawrence about what's going on), having noticed that the titans of fire, ice, and lighting are obviously the legendary birds, and that this is why the weather is going out of control. He commands his Pokemon to attack the cages, and the others follow suit. The Pokemon eventually destroy both the cages, releasing the two legendary birds onto the ship. Moltres and Zapdos immediately begin to battle with each other, and destroy most of the ship in the process. They escape to the outside, and Lawrence notices them flying away. The now destroyed ship crashes onto Lightning Island, as Ash and crew quickly flee the crumbling wreckage. Part of the propeller hits the Lightning Island shrine and sends the Lightning Orb flying toward Ash, who catches it and begins heading towards Shamouti Island.
Ash is able to easily reach the island, due to the sea being frozen as a result of Articuno's dominance of the region. Once on the island, he places the Orbs into their respective places and looks towards Ice Island, noticing that the three legendary birds are now dueling with each other above the ocean. Suddenly, a large waterspout shoots out of the sea, and washes away to reveal Lugia, the beast of the sea. We see that back on Lightning Island, Lawrence is somehow okay, and is viewing the battle through a telescope. He zooms in on Lugia and comments on how his prize will soon belong to him. The movie then promptly forgets that he exists for the next half hour.
Lugia heads towards Ash and using his psychic powers, tells him that he needs to immediately head toward Ice Island and get the last Orb to stop the fighting. He then returns to the fight and gets pretty destroyed, falling into the ocean. Ash sets out on a sled hauled by the odd combination of Squirtle and Charizard, but not for long as Team Rocket comes up behind him on a propeller driven life raft. They spout some nonsense about how they saw the good in things, and they want to help Ash get to Ice Island, so Ash gets on the boat and they head off. They don't even bother to stop once they reach the island, they simply drive it up the mountain and into the shrine. Ash quickly grabs the Orb and they depart back down the slopes.
However, they don't make it very far, as the violent battle of the legendary birds sends their raft flying, only for them to be caught by Lugia, who heads off in the direction of Shamouti Island. Team Rocket, now dangling on Lugia's leg, make the decision that they're too heavy and decide to let go, falling into the ocean and somehow living. Just before Ash and Lugia reach the island, Lawrence makes one final attempt to catch Lugia and shoots some more electrical cages at him. Lugia easily escapes the cages and uses Aeroblast to destroy what's left of Lawrence's ship. Ash and Lugia then return to the island, where he places the last Orb into the altar, and Melody plays the song. This causes the birds to return to their respective islands, Lugia to return to the sea, and the weather to clear up and return to normal. Everyone celebrates.
We see one final scene, of Lawrence on the shores of Lightning Island, walking among the wreckage of his airship. He picks up an Ancient Mew Card, and remarks that it was what started his collection, then vows to continue his collecting, but on a more modest scale.
Overall, I enjoyed this movie. I don't really understand how many critics regard it as the worst of the series, sure, it has it's problems- but at least 4kids didn't mangle this one in the translation. Most of the problems I have stem from the hero-villain relationship, and the lack of character development overall. The movie seems to like forgetting about the villain- We see him in the beginning, then he goes missing for a half hour. The we see him capture Zapdos and crash the ship, and then another half hour without a villain. It just doesn't make sense. There was a lot of potential for an interesting villain there, but we don't get anything.
Then theres the Hero-Villain relationship. Lets see... There is none. Nobody ever speaks with Lawrence about anything, he just announces that he's a collector and leaves. The movie doesn't bother to give him even one lousy scene of dialogue with the heroes- you know, to establish why he's capturing the Pokemon, or why Ash thinks its wrong, or ANYTHING AT ALL. Lame.
That being said, I still find the flick pretty enjoyable. It's got awesome music, awesome design, and a fair amount of action. It's not really a story masterpiece- but then again, what Pokemon movie is? (Hey, it's leagues better than the all over the place plot of the first movie).
I give it an 8/10. I enjoy it.
Monday, August 29, 2011
On Second Thought - Pokemon: The First Movie
By Derek Fro
This is going to be the first segment of something I'm calling "On Second Thought". The gist is that I'll review something that I haven't seen in at least a few years, and see if it still holds up after time. The first thing up to bat is Pokemon: The First Movie, released in 1998. Also note that I won't be reviewing the Pikachu short attached to this movie.
The movie begins by showing us the origin of the Pokemom Mewtwo. Some researchers led by Doctor Fuji are exploring what I believe is meant to be "Faraway Island". They speak about the Pokemon known as Mew, supposedly the rarest of them all. Apparently, Fuji has discovered a fossil of Mew and plans to use it to clone the Pokemon for research. However, when Mewtwo awakens he immediately assumes that he isn't meant to be kept inside a lab, because of him having the genetic memory of being free like Mew. He destroys the lab, and soon after Giovanni finds him and proposes to be his partner. The film then shows us that Giovanni has given Mewtwo some kind of suit to enhance his psychic abilities, and is now being used in the Viridian City Gym. This partnership doesn't last very long however, as Giovanni explains that Mewtwo was only meant to be used a tool to fight with, causing Mewtwo to backlash, destroy the gym and flee back to the lab on New Island in order to plot revenge against people.
Now we skip forward a little (I assume at least a few years) and focus on Ash, Brock, and Misty enjoying a day of rest on a seaside cliff- that is, until some random jerk comes and asks Ash to battle him (Apparently Ash is famous now? I don't know, maybe he was at this point in the show). Anyways, like usual Ash wins despite only having his Pikachu, Squirtle and Bulbasaur- against this guys Machamp, Donphan, Venomoth, Pinsir, and I believe Graveler. Afterward, somebody (Read: obviously Mewtwo) tells his servant (Read: obviously Nurse joy) to get Ash to join his tournament. A Mail-Dragonite brings Ash a letter stating that he is to appear on New Island and challenge the "greatest Pokemon master" in a tournament. He accepts the invite and the Dragonite returns to New Island, not before being stopped by Team Rocket though, who hear about the tournament and decide to follow Ash.
Ash and crew head to a city in order to catch the boat to New Island, but arrive only to find that a terrible storm is preventing the boat from leaving. All the trainers gathered in the storm shelter are outraged, and three of them decide to leave anyways, using their Pokemon to surf across the sea. Officer Jenny threatens to arrest them... For something illegal, I'm sure. Ash and crew also head out, but like usual don't get the idea that hey, I don't know, maybe USING our Pokemon might help and simply stand there and complain about the storm. At this point some "Vikings" (Read: Team Rocket) come up to the dock and offer to take them across. They accept, because they're stupid, and get on the boat. During the cruise, Jessie makes one of the most inappropriate jokes in Pokemon history by saying "Stroke, stroke, stroke... I think I'm going to have one!" After that, a huge wave hits the ship and knocks everyone into the water, at which point they finally realize that hey, Misty is a WATER TYPE Gym Leader, maybe her Pokemon can help! They get on Staryu and Squirtle and head to New Island.
They get inside the castle on New Island and meet up with the other trainers, Fergus (A water type trainer based on the Youngster class), Corey (A "Nature" type trainer based on the Ace Trainer class), and Neesha (A "Sweet" type trainer (Think Whitney) based on a combination of Beauty and Lass classes), each of whom boasts a team infinitesimally better than Ash's, but hey, whats new? Mewtwo comes down and greets them, saying that he is the most powerful Pokemon master of them all, causing Fergus to call bullshit, saying that a Pokemon can't be a Pokemon master. This ends well, with Fergus being thrown across the room for what he said. Mewtwo now decides that he doesn't need his servant anymore, and releases her from her brainwashed state, revealing to everyone that she was in fact Nurse Joy.
It's at this point that we see Team Rocket exploring the undercroft of the castle, and winding up in the cloning chamber where Mewtwo has clones of Charizard, Venusaur, and Blastoise. Meowth ends up being captured by the cloning machine, and he gets a clone as well. THen, above ground, Mewtwo begins his tournament and calls the three clone starters, who each fight with their respective real versions (Corey's Venusaur, Neesha's Blastoise, and Ash's Charizard) and promptly win. Mewtwo states that the Pokemon owned by these trainers are only slaves, and uses his own Pokeballs to catch all of them as a prize for winning. I believe it's also around this point that he mentions how he's going to clone his own new Pokemon, kill the rest, and use the storm he called to wipe out everything on Earth. Anyways, villlainous plans aside, Ash's Pikachu gets caught, and Ash chases it down a shaft into the cloning chamber.
He manages to save his Pokemon, but not before they get cloned. At this stage, all the cloned Pokemon "hatch" and head upstairs toward the arena. We see them get there, and listen to Mewtwo gloat some more about how his Pokemon are perfect and all that nonsense, but then Ash somehow EXPLODES through the floor of the arena (He doesn't have anything that can learn explosion with him) and challenges Mewtwo to a fight, by simply doing what he does best and running towards him. He gets his ass kicked, and Mewtwo flings him into the tower of the castle. However, before he can hit the wall, Mew creates a bubble under him, and softly lands him on a rooftop ledge. Mew goes down to Mewtwo, who begins a fight between the Pokemon and their respective clones. Everything goes fine until the Pokemon start getting beat out from fighting.
And thats when the moral shows up.
This is where my problems with the movie begin. The moral that this movie tries to shill is that 'Fighting is wrong". You might see how this becomes an issue when the series and it's being shilled in is freaking POKEMON, the game where you make things fight for 40 hours so you can be named the best at fighting. Now, to the movies credit, my friend did point out to me that they say "Fighting this way is wrong" as in, fighting for what Mewtwo fights for isn't right. I get that, it makes sense, but it's still stupid to try and pick and choose what fights are right and wrong when the entire series is centered around fighting. How much worse is it to fight for the freedom of Pokemon than to fight for "ooooh shiny badges"?
Anyways, I digress. Ash tries to stop the fighting after making a speech about this and that being wrong or whatever, and gets hit with the cross fire of Mew and Mewtwo using what's probably Psybeam or something. Somehow, this not only doesn't kill the shit out of him, but turns him to stone. As if that wasn't strange enough, all the Pokemon begin to cry and for some reason unbeknownst to anyone the tears float over to Ash and magically fix everything. Now everyone knows that fighting is wrong, and everyone vows to never make Pokemon fight again! Hooray, everything is perfect now!
Then Mewtwo erases everyones memory and transports them back in time to the storm shelter.
Well. That was fucking stupid.
Seriously, what was the point of EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED? Now they can go fight again, and thusly eliminate the entire point the movie was making in the first place. Whatever, it leads to more Pokemon, so I guess I can't complain. It takes us back to the new New Island, which is just a grassy plateau now, and Meowth takes us out with a joke about catamarans.
Stay classy, Pokemon.
All in all, even though the last quarter of this movie is extremely upsetting, I can't really discount the whole thing over that. It's still a fairly enjoyable flick, and I can accept that the problems are mostly due to this being the first movie. Even though a grown person can see flaws in the moral, it's still a good thing to teach kids who watch this and don't understand what a plot hole is.
Overall, I give this movie a 7/10. It's pretty alright.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Archive: Box's Action Figure Review: Deadpool/Spider-Man
I haven't posted lately, I know. Expect more stuff sometime in the next week or so, and we're still working on Derek Fro (and potentially another member). In the meantime, I decided to post some older reviews of Marvel action figures that I did a while ago for... god knows why. Anyway, here's the first of these reviews.
1. Spider-Man and Deadpool
Me and my Dad went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine one night. It was pretty damn good, and afterwards we celebrated by buying the Comic Series Deadpool from the movie's toyline and the Marvel Universe Spider-Man.
We'll start with Spidey. The figure I got seems to be a variant- the colors on his costume are darker, similar to the Spider-Man movies. I've seen the regular figure with the brighter colors, and they look a lot nicer. He seems small, but that's more because of his slim build and small head, which seems even more small than it is because of Spidey's rather long neck.
The webslinger has seventeen points of articulation- ankles, two on each knee, hips, waist, torso, elbows, upper arms, shoulders, and neck. Oddly enough, his wrists do not move. He's a bit fragile, and one of his knees can bend inward a little more than should be possible, but overall, Spidey's posability is good. I don't really display my figures, I play with them, so as long as I can make him do a flying kick I'm happy. He has one accessory, a web strand which allegedly clips onto his wrist. It kind of sucks.
Overall, If you're going to play with your action figures and you're a fan of the character, Spider-Man is a good figure, although I recommend getting either the brighter colored one or the new Symbiote Spider-Man figure. 7/10
Next is Deadpool. I'm a big Deadpool fan, so while I wasn't thrilled by his lacklustre appearence in Wolverine, I am glad that his figure was released in his comic costume. The Merc with a Mouth makes a good figure. The paint job is a little iffy in places, particularly his legs, and there's some very small bits of flash, but overall, I have only two problems with him. One is his harness. It is not actually molded onto him, but is a seperate, non-removable piece. It slips around, and the sheaths on the back (for his katanas- more on them later) are rather bulky. The other is his leg joints. He's got this wierd ball-joint between his hip and his thigh, which is made in such a way that unless you rotate the ball, his legs can only move to the side. I believe this is a carry-over from the Iron Man toyline, but I'm not sure.
Deadpool has eighteen points of articulation- ankles, two on each knee, two on each of the stupid ball-joint things, torso, wrists, elbow, shoulders,and neck. He comes with lots of accessories. Two katanas, a rather large sai, a pistol, and a machine gun. The guns are wonderful, they fit in his hands and have very good detailing. The others are good, but they wiggle around in Wade's grip a bit, because both his hands are molded for holding guns. The blades of the swords, as they often are at this scale, are flexible, and can easiliy get bent out of shape, so be careful.
Overall, Deadpool is a good figure. He's a bit more suited to display because his stupid legs limit his movement, but he's very good at flying kicks. 9/10
1. Spider-Man and Deadpool
Me and my Dad went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine one night. It was pretty damn good, and afterwards we celebrated by buying the Comic Series Deadpool from the movie's toyline and the Marvel Universe Spider-Man.
We'll start with Spidey. The figure I got seems to be a variant- the colors on his costume are darker, similar to the Spider-Man movies. I've seen the regular figure with the brighter colors, and they look a lot nicer. He seems small, but that's more because of his slim build and small head, which seems even more small than it is because of Spidey's rather long neck.
The webslinger has seventeen points of articulation- ankles, two on each knee, hips, waist, torso, elbows, upper arms, shoulders, and neck. Oddly enough, his wrists do not move. He's a bit fragile, and one of his knees can bend inward a little more than should be possible, but overall, Spidey's posability is good. I don't really display my figures, I play with them, so as long as I can make him do a flying kick I'm happy. He has one accessory, a web strand which allegedly clips onto his wrist. It kind of sucks.
Overall, If you're going to play with your action figures and you're a fan of the character, Spider-Man is a good figure, although I recommend getting either the brighter colored one or the new Symbiote Spider-Man figure. 7/10
Next is Deadpool. I'm a big Deadpool fan, so while I wasn't thrilled by his lacklustre appearence in Wolverine, I am glad that his figure was released in his comic costume. The Merc with a Mouth makes a good figure. The paint job is a little iffy in places, particularly his legs, and there's some very small bits of flash, but overall, I have only two problems with him. One is his harness. It is not actually molded onto him, but is a seperate, non-removable piece. It slips around, and the sheaths on the back (for his katanas- more on them later) are rather bulky. The other is his leg joints. He's got this wierd ball-joint between his hip and his thigh, which is made in such a way that unless you rotate the ball, his legs can only move to the side. I believe this is a carry-over from the Iron Man toyline, but I'm not sure.
Deadpool has eighteen points of articulation- ankles, two on each knee, two on each of the stupid ball-joint things, torso, wrists, elbow, shoulders,and neck. He comes with lots of accessories. Two katanas, a rather large sai, a pistol, and a machine gun. The guns are wonderful, they fit in his hands and have very good detailing. The others are good, but they wiggle around in Wade's grip a bit, because both his hands are molded for holding guns. The blades of the swords, as they often are at this scale, are flexible, and can easiliy get bent out of shape, so be careful.
Overall, Deadpool is a good figure. He's a bit more suited to display because his stupid legs limit his movement, but he's very good at flying kicks. 9/10
Monday, August 15, 2011
Box's Comic Review: RoboCop #4
We're still working on getting Derek Fro in. Hopefully very soon. Sorry for the delays.
Anyway, today we're going to look at out first comic book review! It's a comic that I found at a second-hand store, possibly with good reason. Let's check out RoboCop: The Future of Law Enforcement #4.
I should probably add that I know next to nothing about RoboCop.
The cover is odd. It features RoboCop standing in front of a blue background, looking rather uncertain-perhaps even afraid? There is a yellow, jagged-edged balloon bearing the text "INTRODUCING ROBOCOP'S BABY BROTHER??!" Perhaps this refers to the ugly cyborg face that takes up most of the blue background. Here's a look.
The comic opens with an ad for an NES game called Abadox, which according to Wikipedia wasn't very good. Yes, I will be reviewing the ads. It features what looks like a Flash Gordon scuba diver in some sort of creature's belly, fighting weird alien monsters. "Do you have the stomach to battle in the belly of the beast?" it asks. It advertises enemies such as mutant dogs, skeleton fish, guardian ghouls, and "ugly eyeballs". A nice piece of art for the retro-gaming nerd in all of us.
We then hit the first page. RoboCop is walking towards us, looking off the the side. There is a construction site in the background. According to the narration boxes, they are tearing down "Old Detroit" and building "Delta City" in its place. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it? You've already got a perfectly good city, even if it is Detroit. How much would something like that cost? The boxes also tell us that this is the dream of a man named Cybex. Apparently, Cybex is insane, "a crippled cybernetic genius seeking revenge on those he believes tricked him." It further tells us that Cybex is a murderer, and that "Cybex is RoboCop's next target." A blowing newspaper on the street in the bottom left corner tells us that the story is called "Dead Man's Dreams" and that it was written by- holy sh*t! The writer's name is Alan Grant! That is awesome. They also credit Tom DeFalco as psychoanalyst. Well... okay.
The next page reveals that RoboCop is tracking down Cybex. He finds a hovervan belonging to one Joseph Pizzarelli, who as humans go looks remarkably like Pizza the Hutt. Pizzarelli is an ex-con who's been clean for five years, since he was in the hospital... the same hospital Cybex was in at the same time! RoboCop disables the hovervan and climbs into the sewer to sneak into Cybex's warehouse. Little does he know, he's being followed by a man named Dek Kyng, thus ensuring that there is nobody in this comic whose name won't set off the spellchecker.
RoboCop breaks through some sort of mesh into the warehouse, next to a staircase. But his sensors pick up a life form that he just can't make sense of. Will we find out on the next page...? No! It's Ad Review time again, with a full page spread! One page is an ad for Bionic Commando, which is actually supposed to be very good. Unfortunately the ad isn't nearly as cool as the Abadox ad. It's mostly text and whitespace, with a picture of the box and a couple of small screenshots. I'm not even going to read it. The second page is the "Entertainment the Month" ad, where they list off all the other comics you could be reading. G.I. Joe, Transformers, Planet of the Apes, X-Factor, Alpha Flight? Man, I'd rather be reading those!
Anyway, on the next page, we see that the life form is, as RoboCop tells us, "A Roboticized Gorilla!" and it attacks RoboCop, jumping on him and hanging on, heavy enough to almost break RoboCop's hydraulics. RoboCop knocks the gorilla (henceforth "Robo Kong") off of him by shooting x-rays out of his eyes. RoboCop seems to have gotten the upper hand for a moment, but he is attacked from behind by a roboticized monkey. How many of these things does Cybex have? How practical is it to build an army of cyborg animals when you're wanted by the police? Anyway, RoboCop is distracted the monkey and Robo Kong knocks him out by boxing his ears.
The next page brings us back to Dek Kyng, who manages to sustain both thought balloons and though boxes for a couple of panels. Very impressive, Mr. Kyng. Apparently, he is trying to kill Cybex against his will. He is being controlled, it seems, by someone called "Darkstone" and his "butchers". He observes that the apes have captured RoboCop but does not interfere. "I'm a robot!" he thinks, "Lord help me, I'm a fraggin' robot!"
We then cut to Lon Planck, a reporter who is also the first character whose name doesn't get a red squiggle under it. He's in a helicopter, reporting on a riot. The riot grew out of a neighborhood street party sponsored by Detroit's "famous soft drink company, Sky Coola". There are armed men in the windows of the buildings, shooting at the crowd. They shoot the helicopter's pilot, and the helicopter crashes into a building. Back at the station, the anchor, Ed, is drinking Sky Coola himself. A voice from off screen reminds him that he is on the air and to put down the coola, to which Ed responds, hilariously, "You can sit on your 'on the air' bull, Jack!" He then goes on to ask the viewers why they are watching "this dreck", and says "Get a life, ya jelloids!" Replace "watching" with "reading" and you have the way I feel right now. I also want to note the screen on the wall behind him. This whole exchange takes place over three panels. In the first one, the screen just has a crooked, partly obscured logo- it looks like it might say "Media Break". In the second panel, the screen has a picture of a woman's butt. In the third panel, it has a close-up of a woman's chest. What kind of news station is this?
Next we have an ad for a contest to win a $5,000 shopping spree. What you had to do was call a number to talk to the Black Manta and tell him you want to enter. No, not that Black Manta. This one. Yeah, it's also an ad for Wrath of the Black Manta. Based on mere seconds of research, I have concluded that the game probably wasn't very good.
Back at the police station, a man named Mr. Johnson is arguing with the police chief (I assume) about helping RoboCop. Mr. Johnson wants them to send as much back-up as possible to help RoboCop. The police chief agrees, but all his units are busy trying to control the riot. RoboCop is on his own.
Meanwhile, RoboCop comes back online, strapped to a table in Cybex's lair. RoboCop tells Cybex to give up, warning him that he's, y'know, breaking laws. As one would expect, Cybex is unimpressed and says he is "destined to make laws, RoboCop. We are above you concepts of right and wrong!" I honestly don't know what RoboCop was hoping would happen. Do criminals really worry about breaking the law?
Murderer: I'm going to kill you! Hahaha!
Victim: No! You can't!
Murderer: Why not?
Victim: It's illegal!
Murderer: It is? Oh... dang. Sorry about that.
Victim: No problem.
Murderer: Thank you for your time.
Cybex has RoboCop hooked into his "Symbio-Box". RoboCop lapses into sleep and Cybex can see his dreams, and learn all his secrets. Like... um, where he hid the diamonds, I guess. RoboCop dreams of being fully human again. We do find out what Cybex wants to learn- he wants to learn how RoboCop's machine body works. But... why would that be in his dreams? Why not just take him apart? Oh well, I guess there'd be no plot. RoboCop dreams of being a cop, and of his ruined body, and finally, of being RoboCop. He manages to repel Cybex's mental incursions, but he can't last long enough, and Cybex learns all his secrets and plans to build his own squad of loyal RoboCops. Bur first, he claims "O.C.P.'s 'old man' has a dept to repay!"
Meanwhile, Dek Kyng creeps up the stairs and peers into the lab. Cybex is on some kind of radio, gloating about his capture of RoboCop. But before we can continue, there's an ad for Double Dragon II: The Revenge. This is what it looks like. I think it looks pretty awesome- it does make me want to play Double Dragon II. Anyway, on the next page, we see that it's the "old man" of the O.C.P. who Cybex is gloating to. Then Cybex puts some kind of hypnotic pattern on the screen (yeah, it's not a radio. My bad.). As Cybex is hypnotizing the "old man", Dek Kyng takes aim with what was earlier described as his "Walthus .387 Repeater". Before he can shoot, however, he's attacked by the robot monkey. When he shakes it off by slamming it into a wall, its cries attract Robo Kong to the scene. What follows is some rather confusing action as Robo Kong beats the tar out of Kyng. Cybex, however, seems concerned that his berserker robot gorilla might be a little too careless around the lab.
Then there's an ad for Super Off Road. The slogan "Hit the Dirt." is displayed above a black-and-white image of two trucks driving across a desert. In front of this, meanwhile, is a ratherUncanny Valley picture of a kid in a racing helmet holding an NES controller. Then there's some text, blah blah blah... Based again on seconds of research, I have concluded that Super Off Road was probably alright.
Robo Kong throws Dek Kyng onto the control panel, which breaks it. Cybex and Pizzarelli (yeah, he was there the whole time) decide to leave. RoboCop comes back online. We then cut back Ed, who seems to be challenging the studio crew to a fight. As they drag him off-camera, he threatens to kill all of them and uses his last seconds to shill Sky Coola. Back to RoboCop, who breaks the old man out of his trance. And then we cut outside to the villains, as they learn that RoboCop has sabotaged Pizzarelli's van. They flee to the construction site we saw earlier, which was actually a demolition site. Geez, I'm getting a lot of stuff wrong with this one, aren't I? RoboCop busts out of.. um, a window or a wall... or some kind of panel... the building. He decides to chase them on foot because his gun is damaged and presumably he can't drive it after them. Then we cut back to Dek Kyng, who is forced to get up and continue his pursuit. Then we jump back to RoboCop, who is attacked by Pizzarelli driving an excavator. RoboCop throws off the excavator by engaging his boosters. Then we cut to Cybex... Christ, why do they keep hopping around? These few pages have more jumps than a kangaroo on a trampoline! They've got more cuts that Freddy Krueger in a fabric shop! They've got more jumpcuts that Freddy Krueger on a trampoline! But I digress. Cybex kills the driver of a crane with a wrecking ball. Then, we get a very cool ad for Dick Tracy- like this but less faded. This is probably my favorite ad in this comic. Fun Fact: I originally thought it was an ad for the Spirit. This is why I probably shouldn't review comics.
Anyway, RoboCop handcuffs Pizzarelli, only to be hit by the wrecking ball, severely damaging several of his systems. He manages to dodge another swing, but Robo Kong throw a section of brick wall at his, damaging his "Robovision" before attacking him itself. Kyng tries to shoot Cybex, but his aim is off due to his injuries- instead, his shot brings down most of the surrounding brickwork. Somehow. He is about finish off Cybex when RoboCop bursts out of the rubble to stop him because, y'know, laws and stuff. In his last 2.* seconds, RoboCop punches out Kyng. Then we get Marvel Bullpen Bulletins, which I guess is a kind of news page. Stan Lee has a feature called "Stan's Soapbox", which is cool. The next page advertises the NES Ghostbusters II game, which was apparently very difficult; Archon, which is apparently pretty good; Stealth ATF, which looks pretty cool I guess; and, bizarrely, a video game based on the The Three Stooges, which apparently was alright but very flawed. Ghostbusters II takes up most of the page, there's a picture of Slimer, who I hate with a passion, and big red letters inquiring as to Who Ya Gonna Call For Great Nintendo Action.
The next page shows us a rather battered Ed back on the air, telling us that the trace of the violence has been found. To no one's surprise, it was Sky Coola- or rather, a cbatch contaminated by Aggro-B, an experimental military aggression drug. He then begins shilling a new drink called "H 2 Eau", which is kind of funny I guess. Still, what kind of news station is this?
We then cut back to the demolition site, where Mr. Johnson is reactivating RoboCop's communications system. He tells RoboCop how much money all these damages are going to cost. RoboCop tells him it's worth it and says that a crime is happening, and that he can stop it. Mr. Johnson agrees, telling him, "soon." The box in the corners says: "Next Issue: War Machine!" But we will never know what that means because God willing, I will never read another RoboCop comic.
The next three pages are ads- one is Marvel's "Lifeform" limited series, the second is a subscription page for various comics, and the third is for some kind og hand-held Konami games- in particular Bottom of the Ninth and The Adventures of Bayou Billy. The back of the book is an ad for the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 2nd Edition book, Forgotten Realms Adventures. Most of it is this picture, the cover of the book. I kind of want a poster of it.
This comic isn't bad per say, but it's unenjoyable. The art's not bad, but the fight scenes are confusing and the keep just sticking in random colours instead of backgrounds. The story is already too deep for newcomers and it's only the fourth issue! Maybe it would help if i actually knew anything about RoboCop, but that doesn't change the fact that the best things avout this comic are the robot gorilla and a couple of the ads. I've gone on long enough about this, so I'm cutting it off here. Look forward to Derek Fro soon enough.
Anyway, today we're going to look at out first comic book review! It's a comic that I found at a second-hand store, possibly with good reason. Let's check out RoboCop: The Future of Law Enforcement #4.
I should probably add that I know next to nothing about RoboCop.
The cover is odd. It features RoboCop standing in front of a blue background, looking rather uncertain-perhaps even afraid? There is a yellow, jagged-edged balloon bearing the text "INTRODUCING ROBOCOP'S BABY BROTHER??!" Perhaps this refers to the ugly cyborg face that takes up most of the blue background. Here's a look.
The comic opens with an ad for an NES game called Abadox, which according to Wikipedia wasn't very good. Yes, I will be reviewing the ads. It features what looks like a Flash Gordon scuba diver in some sort of creature's belly, fighting weird alien monsters. "Do you have the stomach to battle in the belly of the beast?" it asks. It advertises enemies such as mutant dogs, skeleton fish, guardian ghouls, and "ugly eyeballs". A nice piece of art for the retro-gaming nerd in all of us.
We then hit the first page. RoboCop is walking towards us, looking off the the side. There is a construction site in the background. According to the narration boxes, they are tearing down "Old Detroit" and building "Delta City" in its place. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it? You've already got a perfectly good city, even if it is Detroit. How much would something like that cost? The boxes also tell us that this is the dream of a man named Cybex. Apparently, Cybex is insane, "a crippled cybernetic genius seeking revenge on those he believes tricked him." It further tells us that Cybex is a murderer, and that "Cybex is RoboCop's next target." A blowing newspaper on the street in the bottom left corner tells us that the story is called "Dead Man's Dreams" and that it was written by- holy sh*t! The writer's name is Alan Grant! That is awesome. They also credit Tom DeFalco as psychoanalyst. Well... okay.
The next page reveals that RoboCop is tracking down Cybex. He finds a hovervan belonging to one Joseph Pizzarelli, who as humans go looks remarkably like Pizza the Hutt. Pizzarelli is an ex-con who's been clean for five years, since he was in the hospital... the same hospital Cybex was in at the same time! RoboCop disables the hovervan and climbs into the sewer to sneak into Cybex's warehouse. Little does he know, he's being followed by a man named Dek Kyng, thus ensuring that there is nobody in this comic whose name won't set off the spellchecker.
RoboCop breaks through some sort of mesh into the warehouse, next to a staircase. But his sensors pick up a life form that he just can't make sense of. Will we find out on the next page...? No! It's Ad Review time again, with a full page spread! One page is an ad for Bionic Commando, which is actually supposed to be very good. Unfortunately the ad isn't nearly as cool as the Abadox ad. It's mostly text and whitespace, with a picture of the box and a couple of small screenshots. I'm not even going to read it. The second page is the "Entertainment the Month" ad, where they list off all the other comics you could be reading. G.I. Joe, Transformers, Planet of the Apes, X-Factor, Alpha Flight? Man, I'd rather be reading those!
Anyway, on the next page, we see that the life form is, as RoboCop tells us, "A Roboticized Gorilla!" and it attacks RoboCop, jumping on him and hanging on, heavy enough to almost break RoboCop's hydraulics. RoboCop knocks the gorilla (henceforth "Robo Kong") off of him by shooting x-rays out of his eyes. RoboCop seems to have gotten the upper hand for a moment, but he is attacked from behind by a roboticized monkey. How many of these things does Cybex have? How practical is it to build an army of cyborg animals when you're wanted by the police? Anyway, RoboCop is distracted the monkey and Robo Kong knocks him out by boxing his ears.
The next page brings us back to Dek Kyng, who manages to sustain both thought balloons and though boxes for a couple of panels. Very impressive, Mr. Kyng. Apparently, he is trying to kill Cybex against his will. He is being controlled, it seems, by someone called "Darkstone" and his "butchers". He observes that the apes have captured RoboCop but does not interfere. "I'm a robot!" he thinks, "Lord help me, I'm a fraggin' robot!"
We then cut to Lon Planck, a reporter who is also the first character whose name doesn't get a red squiggle under it. He's in a helicopter, reporting on a riot. The riot grew out of a neighborhood street party sponsored by Detroit's "famous soft drink company, Sky Coola". There are armed men in the windows of the buildings, shooting at the crowd. They shoot the helicopter's pilot, and the helicopter crashes into a building. Back at the station, the anchor, Ed, is drinking Sky Coola himself. A voice from off screen reminds him that he is on the air and to put down the coola, to which Ed responds, hilariously, "You can sit on your 'on the air' bull, Jack!" He then goes on to ask the viewers why they are watching "this dreck", and says "Get a life, ya jelloids!" Replace "watching" with "reading" and you have the way I feel right now. I also want to note the screen on the wall behind him. This whole exchange takes place over three panels. In the first one, the screen just has a crooked, partly obscured logo- it looks like it might say "Media Break". In the second panel, the screen has a picture of a woman's butt. In the third panel, it has a close-up of a woman's chest. What kind of news station is this?
Next we have an ad for a contest to win a $5,000 shopping spree. What you had to do was call a number to talk to the Black Manta and tell him you want to enter. No, not that Black Manta. This one. Yeah, it's also an ad for Wrath of the Black Manta. Based on mere seconds of research, I have concluded that the game probably wasn't very good.
Back at the police station, a man named Mr. Johnson is arguing with the police chief (I assume) about helping RoboCop. Mr. Johnson wants them to send as much back-up as possible to help RoboCop. The police chief agrees, but all his units are busy trying to control the riot. RoboCop is on his own.
Meanwhile, RoboCop comes back online, strapped to a table in Cybex's lair. RoboCop tells Cybex to give up, warning him that he's, y'know, breaking laws. As one would expect, Cybex is unimpressed and says he is "destined to make laws, RoboCop. We are above you concepts of right and wrong!" I honestly don't know what RoboCop was hoping would happen. Do criminals really worry about breaking the law?
Murderer: I'm going to kill you! Hahaha!
Victim: No! You can't!
Murderer: Why not?
Victim: It's illegal!
Murderer: It is? Oh... dang. Sorry about that.
Victim: No problem.
Murderer: Thank you for your time.
Cybex has RoboCop hooked into his "Symbio-Box". RoboCop lapses into sleep and Cybex can see his dreams, and learn all his secrets. Like... um, where he hid the diamonds, I guess. RoboCop dreams of being fully human again. We do find out what Cybex wants to learn- he wants to learn how RoboCop's machine body works. But... why would that be in his dreams? Why not just take him apart? Oh well, I guess there'd be no plot. RoboCop dreams of being a cop, and of his ruined body, and finally, of being RoboCop. He manages to repel Cybex's mental incursions, but he can't last long enough, and Cybex learns all his secrets and plans to build his own squad of loyal RoboCops. Bur first, he claims "O.C.P.'s 'old man' has a dept to repay!"
Meanwhile, Dek Kyng creeps up the stairs and peers into the lab. Cybex is on some kind of radio, gloating about his capture of RoboCop. But before we can continue, there's an ad for Double Dragon II: The Revenge. This is what it looks like. I think it looks pretty awesome- it does make me want to play Double Dragon II. Anyway, on the next page, we see that it's the "old man" of the O.C.P. who Cybex is gloating to. Then Cybex puts some kind of hypnotic pattern on the screen (yeah, it's not a radio. My bad.). As Cybex is hypnotizing the "old man", Dek Kyng takes aim with what was earlier described as his "Walthus .387 Repeater". Before he can shoot, however, he's attacked by the robot monkey. When he shakes it off by slamming it into a wall, its cries attract Robo Kong to the scene. What follows is some rather confusing action as Robo Kong beats the tar out of Kyng. Cybex, however, seems concerned that his berserker robot gorilla might be a little too careless around the lab.
Then there's an ad for Super Off Road. The slogan "Hit the Dirt." is displayed above a black-and-white image of two trucks driving across a desert. In front of this, meanwhile, is a ratherUncanny Valley picture of a kid in a racing helmet holding an NES controller. Then there's some text, blah blah blah... Based again on seconds of research, I have concluded that Super Off Road was probably alright.
Robo Kong throws Dek Kyng onto the control panel, which breaks it. Cybex and Pizzarelli (yeah, he was there the whole time) decide to leave. RoboCop comes back online. We then cut back Ed, who seems to be challenging the studio crew to a fight. As they drag him off-camera, he threatens to kill all of them and uses his last seconds to shill Sky Coola. Back to RoboCop, who breaks the old man out of his trance. And then we cut outside to the villains, as they learn that RoboCop has sabotaged Pizzarelli's van. They flee to the construction site we saw earlier, which was actually a demolition site. Geez, I'm getting a lot of stuff wrong with this one, aren't I? RoboCop busts out of.. um, a window or a wall... or some kind of panel... the building. He decides to chase them on foot because his gun is damaged and presumably he can't drive it after them. Then we cut back to Dek Kyng, who is forced to get up and continue his pursuit. Then we jump back to RoboCop, who is attacked by Pizzarelli driving an excavator. RoboCop throws off the excavator by engaging his boosters. Then we cut to Cybex... Christ, why do they keep hopping around? These few pages have more jumps than a kangaroo on a trampoline! They've got more cuts that Freddy Krueger in a fabric shop! They've got more jumpcuts that Freddy Krueger on a trampoline! But I digress. Cybex kills the driver of a crane with a wrecking ball. Then, we get a very cool ad for Dick Tracy- like this but less faded. This is probably my favorite ad in this comic. Fun Fact: I originally thought it was an ad for the Spirit. This is why I probably shouldn't review comics.
Anyway, RoboCop handcuffs Pizzarelli, only to be hit by the wrecking ball, severely damaging several of his systems. He manages to dodge another swing, but Robo Kong throw a section of brick wall at his, damaging his "Robovision" before attacking him itself. Kyng tries to shoot Cybex, but his aim is off due to his injuries- instead, his shot brings down most of the surrounding brickwork. Somehow. He is about finish off Cybex when RoboCop bursts out of the rubble to stop him because, y'know, laws and stuff. In his last 2.* seconds, RoboCop punches out Kyng. Then we get Marvel Bullpen Bulletins, which I guess is a kind of news page. Stan Lee has a feature called "Stan's Soapbox", which is cool. The next page advertises the NES Ghostbusters II game, which was apparently very difficult; Archon, which is apparently pretty good; Stealth ATF, which looks pretty cool I guess; and, bizarrely, a video game based on the The Three Stooges, which apparently was alright but very flawed. Ghostbusters II takes up most of the page, there's a picture of Slimer, who I hate with a passion, and big red letters inquiring as to Who Ya Gonna Call For Great Nintendo Action.
The next page shows us a rather battered Ed back on the air, telling us that the trace of the violence has been found. To no one's surprise, it was Sky Coola- or rather, a cbatch contaminated by Aggro-B, an experimental military aggression drug. He then begins shilling a new drink called "H 2 Eau", which is kind of funny I guess. Still, what kind of news station is this?
We then cut back to the demolition site, where Mr. Johnson is reactivating RoboCop's communications system. He tells RoboCop how much money all these damages are going to cost. RoboCop tells him it's worth it and says that a crime is happening, and that he can stop it. Mr. Johnson agrees, telling him, "soon." The box in the corners says: "Next Issue: War Machine!" But we will never know what that means because God willing, I will never read another RoboCop comic.
The next three pages are ads- one is Marvel's "Lifeform" limited series, the second is a subscription page for various comics, and the third is for some kind og hand-held Konami games- in particular Bottom of the Ninth and The Adventures of Bayou Billy. The back of the book is an ad for the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 2nd Edition book, Forgotten Realms Adventures. Most of it is this picture, the cover of the book. I kind of want a poster of it.
This comic isn't bad per say, but it's unenjoyable. The art's not bad, but the fight scenes are confusing and the keep just sticking in random colours instead of backgrounds. The story is already too deep for newcomers and it's only the fourth issue! Maybe it would help if i actually knew anything about RoboCop, but that doesn't change the fact that the best things avout this comic are the robot gorilla and a couple of the ads. I've gone on long enough about this, so I'm cutting it off here. Look forward to Derek Fro soon enough.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Great Big Crazy News That Will Shock The Nation
Hey, I'm finally back, and with news. We here at The Box Lounge- that is to say, me and Brutus the rubber shark- are proud to welcome our second writer and apparent only fan, Derek Fro. Derek Fro is a good friend of mine. "Nepotism!" you say. Well, yes, pretty much. But when he said he was thinking about starting his own review blog, I figured I might as well bring him onboard. At the time of writing, there are a few steps we have to go through first but probably by tomorrow Derek Fro will have made his first post introducing himself. Welcome aboard, Derek Fro! *APPLAUSE*
Also, you can expect a new review from me sometime probably tomorrow (I know I'm slow at this, bear with me). After that I'm off to St. John's for a few days, but when I get back you can expect some new material. That's all for now.
Also, you can expect a new review from me sometime probably tomorrow (I know I'm slow at this, bear with me). After that I'm off to St. John's for a few days, but when I get back you can expect some new material. That's all for now.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Sauron in Leather Pants
Let's talk about Sauron.
I like Lord of the Rings. I read and enjoyed the books (quite some time ago, mind you), the movies are good, all that stuff. But I've heard this argument a couple of times that just ticks me off. The argument here is that Sauron is in fact the good guy.
I don't know how far spread this theory is. Cracked used it as #1 in their 9 Famous Movie Villains Who Were Right All Along. The other time I heard it was from from some douchebag (pardon my language) who probably got it from Cracked himself. Now, I'm not hating on Cracked here. I like Cracked, and the rest of the list is actually pretty right on, particularly in regards to the hyenas from The Lion King. But this one is just stupid. Now again, I have to give them some credit, they were using the movies, which REALLY don't focus on Sauron and all the shit he gets up to. But to do an article on a story with as much background as Lord of the Rings and not use any of it? Really?. I'm researching this as I go, so perhaps I'll even change my mind by the end of this. Still, let's take a look.
The name Sauron is apparently derived from Thauron, his original name, which itself comes from the elvish word thaur, 'abominable'. Strike one. I know that some cultures DO give unpleasant names to children for various reasons (Mongolians sometimes do this to mislead evil spirits, according to Wikipedia), but seeing as Sauron was basically an angel I see no reason for this.
Now let's see what he actually did. He began as one of the Maia, who then began working for Morgoth, who wanted, as far as I can tell, to destroy the world because he was Jealous. Later, Sauron became known as Gorthaur the The Cruel, which just sounds like such a nice guy. After Morgoth was defeated, Sauron pleaded for mercy but didn't want to stand trial. He fled, possibly to South America. (HAHA GET IT?)
So then after hiding for a while, he comes out and starts building his army of orcs and trolls and "corrupting the hearts of Men with delusions of power and wealth". Then he disguised himself as "Annatar, Lord of Gifts" (free candy, anyone?) and advised the elves on crafts and art. The Elves made the Rings of Power and Sauron made the One Ring, sneakily attempting to control the other rings and enslave the Elves. When this did not work, he started a war. He might have beaten the Elves but for the intervention of the Numenoreans, who took him captive back to Numenor and, stupidly, started taking his advice. To this end they built a giant temple for Sauron to practice human sacrifice in. Eventually he convinced them that (forgive my use of non-Tolkienian terminology) an invasion of heaven was a great idea, and Numenor got Atlantis'd. Back in Mordor, he could no longer assume a 'fair' shape and "ruled now through terror and force".
Now we're getting closer to where the story picks up. Sauron holed up in his tower in Mirkwood, calling himself the Necromancer. He had some scraps with the White Council, and ultimately fled back to Mordor, also capturing Thorin Oakenshield's fater Thrain at some point and leaving him in the dungeons of Dol Goldur to die years later, senile and sick. Sauron told his BFF Saruman to build an army to take out Rohan, because they might get in the way of his conquest of Gondor the Elves. We all know the story from there.
What else? He apparently gave off a palpable aura of malevolence and hatred, and had a Cthulhu-like ability to drive all but the strongest minds to madness by his mere presence.
And the thing about his argument that bothers me the most is people's insistence on describing Sauron as some kind of civil rights activist, a Professor X to those mean old Elves, Men, and Dwarves' Rev. Stryker. They allege that because Sauron's army contains multiple species and races, as opposed to, say, Gondor's army of Gondorians, everyone else is a racist f*ck and Sauron was right to challenge them, to free the orcs, trolls, Southrons, and others from Oppression. The problem I have with this is that most of Sauron's armies were in fact slaves. Yes folks, those orcs, by one origin thought up by Tolkien, were once elves who were tortured and mutilated until they became the miserable, hate-filled monsters you guys are defending. You want to see a heroic orc? Look at any given elf. What's more, this is apparently the story used by the movies. Another idea Tolkien came up with is that some Orcish leaders were fallen Maiar, like Sauron. Still evil. Yet another theory he came up with is that orcs were humanoid animals, powered by his will. Not so great for them, kind of like mistreated attack dogs. The trolls were much the same, being to Ents what orcs were to Elves. The Haradrim and Easterlings seem to have been willing servants, at least on some level, although as both these peoples had their own kingdoms, it isn't really fitting to describe them as "racial minorities" being "oppressed" by Gondor and Rohan. It's also implied, as I recall, that the Haradrim were tricked or threatened into their alliance with Sauron. The Corsairs of Umbar were descended from the Numenoreans, who were all buddy-buddy with Sauron anyway. Honestly, I don't even think racism comes into it. The Gondorians sent their army of Gondorians to fight with Elves and Rohirrim, and the Haradrim sent their army of Haradrim to fight with the Easterlings and Orcs. Both sides were composed of multiple armies of multiple races.
Cracked also makes claims that Elves use Orcs for target practice. If they can back up this claim, I with give them a nice shiny quarter. Furthermore, they question what it means to belong to the "Free Peoples" of Middle-earth, when every country is a monarchy. Well, guys, democracy isn't the only definition of freedom- in this case, for example, I believe they are referring to the freedom to not be enslaved by Sauron, whose goal, as stated on the LOTR Wiki, was " to dominate the minds and wills of its creatures, as well as establish himself as the ruler of Arda...". OF COURSE!
This is your hero, ladies and gentlemen, have fun.
All info came from my memory and the Lord of the Rings Wiki.
I like Lord of the Rings. I read and enjoyed the books (quite some time ago, mind you), the movies are good, all that stuff. But I've heard this argument a couple of times that just ticks me off. The argument here is that Sauron is in fact the good guy.
I don't know how far spread this theory is. Cracked used it as #1 in their 9 Famous Movie Villains Who Were Right All Along. The other time I heard it was from from some douchebag (pardon my language) who probably got it from Cracked himself. Now, I'm not hating on Cracked here. I like Cracked, and the rest of the list is actually pretty right on, particularly in regards to the hyenas from The Lion King. But this one is just stupid. Now again, I have to give them some credit, they were using the movies, which REALLY don't focus on Sauron and all the shit he gets up to. But to do an article on a story with as much background as Lord of the Rings and not use any of it? Really?. I'm researching this as I go, so perhaps I'll even change my mind by the end of this. Still, let's take a look.
The name Sauron is apparently derived from Thauron, his original name, which itself comes from the elvish word thaur, 'abominable'. Strike one. I know that some cultures DO give unpleasant names to children for various reasons (Mongolians sometimes do this to mislead evil spirits, according to Wikipedia), but seeing as Sauron was basically an angel I see no reason for this.
Now let's see what he actually did. He began as one of the Maia, who then began working for Morgoth, who wanted, as far as I can tell, to destroy the world because he was Jealous. Later, Sauron became known as Gorthaur the The Cruel, which just sounds like such a nice guy. After Morgoth was defeated, Sauron pleaded for mercy but didn't want to stand trial. He fled, possibly to South America. (HAHA GET IT?)
So then after hiding for a while, he comes out and starts building his army of orcs and trolls and "corrupting the hearts of Men with delusions of power and wealth". Then he disguised himself as "Annatar, Lord of Gifts" (free candy, anyone?) and advised the elves on crafts and art. The Elves made the Rings of Power and Sauron made the One Ring, sneakily attempting to control the other rings and enslave the Elves. When this did not work, he started a war. He might have beaten the Elves but for the intervention of the Numenoreans, who took him captive back to Numenor and, stupidly, started taking his advice. To this end they built a giant temple for Sauron to practice human sacrifice in. Eventually he convinced them that (forgive my use of non-Tolkienian terminology) an invasion of heaven was a great idea, and Numenor got Atlantis'd. Back in Mordor, he could no longer assume a 'fair' shape and "ruled now through terror and force".
Now we're getting closer to where the story picks up. Sauron holed up in his tower in Mirkwood, calling himself the Necromancer. He had some scraps with the White Council, and ultimately fled back to Mordor, also capturing Thorin Oakenshield's fater Thrain at some point and leaving him in the dungeons of Dol Goldur to die years later, senile and sick. Sauron told his BFF Saruman to build an army to take out Rohan, because they might get in the way of his conquest of Gondor the Elves. We all know the story from there.
What else? He apparently gave off a palpable aura of malevolence and hatred, and had a Cthulhu-like ability to drive all but the strongest minds to madness by his mere presence.
And the thing about his argument that bothers me the most is people's insistence on describing Sauron as some kind of civil rights activist, a Professor X to those mean old Elves, Men, and Dwarves' Rev. Stryker. They allege that because Sauron's army contains multiple species and races, as opposed to, say, Gondor's army of Gondorians, everyone else is a racist f*ck and Sauron was right to challenge them, to free the orcs, trolls, Southrons, and others from Oppression. The problem I have with this is that most of Sauron's armies were in fact slaves. Yes folks, those orcs, by one origin thought up by Tolkien, were once elves who were tortured and mutilated until they became the miserable, hate-filled monsters you guys are defending. You want to see a heroic orc? Look at any given elf. What's more, this is apparently the story used by the movies. Another idea Tolkien came up with is that some Orcish leaders were fallen Maiar, like Sauron. Still evil. Yet another theory he came up with is that orcs were humanoid animals, powered by his will. Not so great for them, kind of like mistreated attack dogs. The trolls were much the same, being to Ents what orcs were to Elves. The Haradrim and Easterlings seem to have been willing servants, at least on some level, although as both these peoples had their own kingdoms, it isn't really fitting to describe them as "racial minorities" being "oppressed" by Gondor and Rohan. It's also implied, as I recall, that the Haradrim were tricked or threatened into their alliance with Sauron. The Corsairs of Umbar were descended from the Numenoreans, who were all buddy-buddy with Sauron anyway. Honestly, I don't even think racism comes into it. The Gondorians sent their army of Gondorians to fight with Elves and Rohirrim, and the Haradrim sent their army of Haradrim to fight with the Easterlings and Orcs. Both sides were composed of multiple armies of multiple races.
Cracked also makes claims that Elves use Orcs for target practice. If they can back up this claim, I with give them a nice shiny quarter. Furthermore, they question what it means to belong to the "Free Peoples" of Middle-earth, when every country is a monarchy. Well, guys, democracy isn't the only definition of freedom- in this case, for example, I believe they are referring to the freedom to not be enslaved by Sauron, whose goal, as stated on the LOTR Wiki, was " to dominate the minds and wills of its creatures, as well as establish himself as the ruler of Arda...". OF COURSE!
This is your hero, ladies and gentlemen, have fun.
All info came from my memory and the Lord of the Rings Wiki.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Box's Manga Review: Vinland Saga
I don't really plan what I'm going to review in advance. I usually just sit down every few days when the guilt of not updating starts to get to me. But lately I've been interested in Vikings, so today I thought I'd review A Brief History of the Vikings, by Jonathan Clements. Haha, no. VINLAND SAGA!
Vinland Saga is a manga by Makoto Yukimura. It isn't officially available in English but hey, internet. It's about (based on the first two chapters- the focus of this review and the extent that I've read) a Viking warband in Danish-ruled England at the start of the 11th century. In particular, it focuses on Thorfinn, a young but exceptional warrior from Iceland, and the warband's charismatic leader Askeladd. Thorfinn hates Askeladd, as Askeladd apparently took him hostage and killed his father. Askeladd is remarkably calm about all this, due to the fact that Thorfinn's pride and honour prevents him from trying anything shifty. Only a few other characters have been introduced so far, such as the Norse leader Gorm, his slave Hordaland, and a fat Frankish chieftain who gets screwed over by Askeladd's crew in magnificent fashion. All, thus far, have been entertaining or interesting, and all serve their purpose well. There's even some funny parts, especially Askeladd's unfortunately brief interactions with his fangirls. That's right, Viking fangirls.
The artwork is beautiful. It strikes me as slightly more realistic than some other mangas (not that I have a lot of experience in that field). The character designs are easily recognizable and believable-nothing goes over the top. The backgrounds are detailed and again, believable. The book also isn't afraid to show how brutal things get; it opens in a battle between two Frankish clans and, as an example, shows a soldier getting shot through the eye with an arrow. Then the Vikings get involved and everything just gets nuts. You know how you watch an anime, and the fight scenes are always amazingly animated and highly spectacular? That's what Vinland Saga is like, but in BOOK FORM.
On another brief note, apparently the comic is very historically accurate, and I can't find any obvious problems with it besides, as noted by the scanlator, Thorfinn's improper use of the word 'Jarl' (cheiftain- related to the English title 'Earl') but even this can be explained away in context as Thorfinn being an asshole.
So that's a look at Vinland Saga, and in conclusion, it's very good. Someone needs to adapt this into an anime, because it would be spectacular. In fact, scratch that. First they need to RELEASE IT IN ENGLISH. I'd buy it, and I'm a huge cheapskate. Check it out if you like history and don't mind a little violence.
And why doesn't the spellcheck on this site recognize 'Vinland' as a word?
Vinland Saga is a manga by Makoto Yukimura. It isn't officially available in English but hey, internet. It's about (based on the first two chapters- the focus of this review and the extent that I've read) a Viking warband in Danish-ruled England at the start of the 11th century. In particular, it focuses on Thorfinn, a young but exceptional warrior from Iceland, and the warband's charismatic leader Askeladd. Thorfinn hates Askeladd, as Askeladd apparently took him hostage and killed his father. Askeladd is remarkably calm about all this, due to the fact that Thorfinn's pride and honour prevents him from trying anything shifty. Only a few other characters have been introduced so far, such as the Norse leader Gorm, his slave Hordaland, and a fat Frankish chieftain who gets screwed over by Askeladd's crew in magnificent fashion. All, thus far, have been entertaining or interesting, and all serve their purpose well. There's even some funny parts, especially Askeladd's unfortunately brief interactions with his fangirls. That's right, Viking fangirls.
The artwork is beautiful. It strikes me as slightly more realistic than some other mangas (not that I have a lot of experience in that field). The character designs are easily recognizable and believable-nothing goes over the top. The backgrounds are detailed and again, believable. The book also isn't afraid to show how brutal things get; it opens in a battle between two Frankish clans and, as an example, shows a soldier getting shot through the eye with an arrow. Then the Vikings get involved and everything just gets nuts. You know how you watch an anime, and the fight scenes are always amazingly animated and highly spectacular? That's what Vinland Saga is like, but in BOOK FORM.
On another brief note, apparently the comic is very historically accurate, and I can't find any obvious problems with it besides, as noted by the scanlator, Thorfinn's improper use of the word 'Jarl' (cheiftain- related to the English title 'Earl') but even this can be explained away in context as Thorfinn being an asshole.
So that's a look at Vinland Saga, and in conclusion, it's very good. Someone needs to adapt this into an anime, because it would be spectacular. In fact, scratch that. First they need to RELEASE IT IN ENGLISH. I'd buy it, and I'm a huge cheapskate. Check it out if you like history and don't mind a little violence.
And why doesn't the spellcheck on this site recognize 'Vinland' as a word?
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